More Dead Than Human
by amooseandallama
Summary: Sam and Dean find a peculiar case, with unexpected peculiar colleagues. Dean and Sam were on just another routine case until they met the Skeleton detective and partner Valkyrie Cain... Angels and Demons? That's just the tip of the iceberg Season Six SPN Spoilers. SKulduggery KOTW SPoilers.
1. Beginning Note

Dear reader,

Hi there welcome to mine and the moose's fanfiction, more dead than human! Now as you can probably see from the zazzy cover art that the moose made that this is a Supernatural and Skulduggery Pleasant fanfic so even though if I do say so myself this is a rather brilliant fanfic, it will unfortunately contain some slight spoilers (contain yourself moose!) for Supernatural season 5 and Skulduggery Pleasant's kingdom of the wicked so be be prepared I guess, damn now I've got lion king in my head. Anyway hope you like it please read on!

Yours forever and truly,

Llama.

** Just a little Note from moose! We Will inform you of who wrote what by signing off at the end of each section xx Check our profile for Who's Who!

~Moose!


	2. Chapter One

"Agent Taylor and Agent McQueen? What are you doing here?" Said the Officer, doubt plain in his voice "We've already got two of you here, what are you over staffed?" The obese officer laughed at his own joke, cheeks wobbling as he did Sam and Dean exchanged a glance "Obviously been some mix up at the office" Said Dean pocketing his badge, Sam asked "Could you point out where the agents are?" The cop pointed towards the house that was warded off with police tape "They should be in the living room" The brothers thanked the cop before setting off in the direction of the house.

Ducking under the police tape Sam asked "So who do you reckon these guys are? The FBI?" Dean shook his head "I don't think so it's not really their type of case, they'd wait a couple more murders before getting involved, could be hunters though I mean a crime scene filled with blood, a strange symbol on the wall and no body? That's bound to be picked up on the hunter radars" They entered the living room which looked a lot like the others had said in the papers, a room splattered with almost symmetrical blood stains, a strange symbol on the wall and no dead body. The only difference between the newspaper articles and the scene before them was that there were too alive looking people inside one was a man who looked incredibly thin, with a tilted hat that covered his expression and the other was a possibly 17 year old girl, being possibly because she had a seemingly ageless face even if at the moment it was slightly blanched at all the blood in the room, she quickly noticed the two brothers stood in the doorway and gave a slight cough alerting the older crouching man who followed the girl's gaze before standing up, and walking over to them, now stood up he could be seen as very tall possibly the same height as Sam, the girl walking by his side was also tall roughly the same as Dean her long black hair swaying slightly as she did, she glanced over them both with sharp clever eyes before looking to her partner, who with his hat tilted back could be seen to have a goatee and intelligent eye's that also quickly surveyed them before exchanging a look with his partner.

"Hello I'm Detective Inspector me and this is my partner Valkyrie Cain who before you ask, yes she is awfully young to be a Detective and that is because your on work experience isn't it Valkyrie?" The girl nodded solemnly at the Detective Inspectors question though she had a slight smile on her face, the brothers shook the man's gloved hands and introduced himself both wary of the Detective's non committal accent as they lifted up their badges, the detective inspector plucked them out of their hands, they both made sounds of surprise but didn't do anything more as the Inspector passed Deans badge over to the Valkyrie girl who began to study it like her partner, who then said "Hmmmm how intriguing" He then passed the badges back to the brothers who chuckled tensely before Dean saying "I thought you were going to accuse us of being fakes for a moment", The inspector tilted his head in a way that strongly reminded Dean of Cas before laughing slightly and saying "Oh but they are fakes of course" and before either of the brothers could react the Inspector pulled out a gun along with his colleague, each pointing one at a Winchester the man continued "What I find intriguing is why two mortals such as yourself are attempting to get involved in a crime like this, care to explain?" The brothers remained silent making the Inspector laugh again "Of course how rude of me, let me officially introduce myself, I'm Skulduggery Pleasant and you two are going to answer my questions!"

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**Yours forever and truly**

**Llama.**

****( Song: Trouble by P!nk and Picture: Sam and Dean looking suave in suits (llama made me put Suave because that's more British) Swoon! (expect swooning) Got to go, Library is making me sign off)**

**~~ Moose 3**


	3. Chapter Two

**2 Hours Earlier.**

Valkryie watched the shadows swirl around the flame. She'd expected America to be fun not to be under house arrest as soon as she stepped foot on American soil by the American Sanctuary. Apparently smuggling a skeleton into the country in a suitcase was frowned upon. Sult had called it kidnapping, so had Skulduggery. Presently she was confined to her hotel room, the rest of the building constricting her magic flow. It hurt her getting a meal, being powerless; however it was a period of time which silenced the other little voice in her head. It was just her, she knew Skulduggery was flying about in his little bed and breakfast across the street, and sulking at her.

The power radiated around her hand as her stomach rumbled. She groaned and stood up. She was pulling on her jacket, which happily didn't loose its magic, as one of the waiters would have stabbed her with his knife when he ran into her, apparently she walked too quietly, she was sure Skulduggery would beg to differ, when there was a rattle at the balcony doors. She pulled back the gossamer curtains to see Skulduggery hovering there holding a paper bag which leaked grease. Ravenous, she yanked the doors open, snatched the bag off him and returned to her bed, chucking her jacket on the floor. Valkyrie sunk her teeth into the grease ridden food and groaned in delight.

"Thank you." She said through the bread, meat and cheese being processed in her mouth.

"What would you do without me?" Skulduggery commented, pulling the chair from the desk and sliding it to beside her bed. "I am still angry with you though." He slung his legs over the chair and sat, his rib cage up against the back of the chair.

"In my defence, I expected to have put you back together before you woke up." Valkyrie explained, shoving a chip in her mouth.

"But you were wrong so I spent six hours in a suitcase along with your underwear!" Skulduggery commented, Valkyrie threw a chip at him.

"What a pleasant Experience you endured." She laughed.

"Anyway hurry up and eat," He pulled something out of his coat pocket. Valkyrie's eye widened. "We have a case."

"I have a gun!" She squealed, jumping up and stepping off the bed, causing the chips to fall across the white duvet. She took the gun off him.

"Valkyrie, it's a lighter." He commented as she pulled the trigger and a flame conjured at the tip. "I still do not trust you with a gun, but people over here are armed, I want you to have some leverage." Valkyrie sulked and sighed, sliding the lighter into the back of her trousers, and pulling on her jacket. Skulduggery wrapped his arm around her waist and began hovering and flew out of the open window.

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**Picture: Jemima West as Valkyrie Cain**

**Video: I Predict A Riot By Kaiser Cheifs.**

**~Moose 3**


	4. Apologies For The Delay

Hello There Brilliant Peoples.

Okay, I wanted to Thank you for your brilliant comments, You've definitely made two Very silly girls Happy.

I, Moose, wish to apologise in this short passage for why we haven't updated. We are both British with GCSE's (exams) coming up and heavy writers block. So obviously we procrastinate like hell. Llama is working on Chapter Three and hopefully it will be up soon. Llama is a very silly llama, and was chasing plot Bunnies for a while, However she's working away now. If she isn't I'll a-whack-a-d her with a point head stick until she does.

So in conclusion, Llama's a silly llama and I am sorry for her lack of an attention span. It'll be up soon.

(I'd plug my stuff (recentobsession) but I wont. However if you're bored and llama hasn't updated, I have a Skulduggery Pleasant fanfiction and one character who will join MDTH, unnessacary to read but if you are bored, feel free)

So I'll love you and Leave you all.

**But Honestly Thank You. For Everything. We cannot thank you enough. **

**~The Moose. **

Sorry for the plug. It was selfish. Keep Reading You Guys. We Love You 3

R&R honey's R&R


	5. Chapter 3

_Dear reader,_

_This a note to say sorry, I am sorry, what I am sorry for is not updating sooner, this was because of a few reasons, but the main one really is inspiration, it's hard to find. Hopefully this will not happen again as my mental block for the moment has gone, I do appreciate your reviews they give me joy and inspire me to work so thank you, I would also like to thank my friend the moose, who didn't murder me because of my lack of writing and also thanks be to the gods spell checked my work otherwise anyone who did attempt to read would be thinking they've stumbled onto elvish by mistake. Anyway thank you for your reviews and favourites, it's an honour._

_Yours forever and always,_

_Llama_

_And P.S I unlike some moose's don't plug except ooops…_

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**Shooting her head around, the woman glared through her glasses. Her eyes watched, without seeing. Her frazzled white hair stuck up in corners.**

**"They're here."**

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It was one of those times when the brothers worked as one, Dean threw holy water at the strange duo at the same time Sam said 'Christo' and then they both quickly drew their own guns and watched. Despite recoiling, annoyed at the water thrown in their faces, they didn't hiss and their eyes didn't go black.

"Well that was slightly unnecessary," said the detective named Skulduggery, unfortunately at that point the man's face seemed to lose its grip on the skull it was attached to and was slowly moving down. The girl Valkyrie noticing the slow state her partners face was going into hit him saying "Skulduggery your face" He glanced down at the skin sagging at his chin.

"Now that isn't right there should still be another twenty minutes left hmm..."

"You don't think that China-?" Started Valkyrie but cut off the end of the sentence at the sharp look Skulduggery gave her.

"No" he answered "I don't think China is behind it... She owes me too much." He turned his gaze back to the brothers who still had their guns aimed at them "What was that you threw at our faces?"

"Holy water" Replied Sam, no point in lying they must have been pretty dumb demons to not recognize the Winchesters anyway since after the whole sending Lucifer to hell situation the Winchesters where on every demons most wanted list, even more than usual. The girl held back a laugh, at their reply, definitely not used to hunters either; holy water isn't something to be taken lightly.

"Why would you throw holy water at our faces? Is this some new faceless thing I haven't heard about?" Asked Valkyrie glancing towards the guy with the melting face, the man shrugged and before the brothers could reply said "Either way we are going to have to arrest them can't have them walking around impersonating officers and throwing holy water at people"

Dean disliking being spoken about as if he isn't in the room asked with a smug smile; "And what makes you think we'll let you arrest us?"

The girl rolled her eyes and speaking slowly said "We have guns" as though talking to a small child. Sam gesturing to Skulduggery said "Actually he is the only one with a gun, you have a lighter, we also have guns" The girl sighed and glared at her partner easily to be distinguished as "_I told you so"_ to which he responded with a shoulder shrug that sent the message "_What can you do?" _out loud though he said "Well it looks like we are truly outgunned" Then with a glance at his partner and a twitch from his sagging lips which may have been an attempted smile, he flicked his wrist and the guns flew out of their hands.

"What the he-" Dean was about to yell but a dark shadow wrapped around his leg and yanked him over, he saw the same thing had happened to Sam. Dean tried to pick himself up but the black shadows pinned his wrists together in a makeshift pair of handcuffs.

The detective walked up to Dean, and the girl walked up to same each pulling out a pair of metal handcuffs and fastening them on, the moment they did the shadow cuffs disappeared and the man whose face was halfway lower than it had been before said to the girl "I didn't know you could do that" The girl scoffed "Of course you didn't now let's go your face is freaking me out" She then smiled at Dean and said "Oh yeah and by the way you're arrested."

Dean groaned as he was shoved against the car, a Bentley he couldn't help but notice, not as nice as his baby of course but still pretty good, the apparent detective behind him was chatting conversationally with the girl, "So how did you get the car here?" She asked pinning Sam to the car something Dean was going to mock him about later, if, when they got out of whatever the hell was going on.

"Fletcher owed me a favour" the detective replied, opening the backseat door "Get in" He said to Dean who halted.

"Can't I get my phone call first?" The detective sighed and rolled his eyes, the only facial feature that had remained in place, he turned to Valkyrie holding out his hand and she pulled out her phone, passing it to him "Really you asked Fletcher, whose in Australia, to move your car for you?" The flesh of the mouth sagging below her partners chin twitched, but didn't say anything more "What's the number?" He asked looking at Dean, who grinned again and said "Oh its fine I don't need to ring him"

Before the detective could interject though Dean was looking up at the sky yelling "Dear Cas who might be fighting a war in heaven if you could get your feathery ass down here that would be a big help" He stared at Skulduggery who stared in shock before saying "yeah that was strange but okay, now get in the car."

A sound of wind was in the air and a deep voice said "I wouldn't do that if I where you Skulduggery" Dean glanced over the taller man's shoulder and sure enough stood there with his dirty trench coat...Was Castiel.

_hey guys...I'm so sorry for how long chapter three took...really.  
forever and always_

Llama.

She's working on it ...

Chapter 4 coming some time next week :)

Chapter 5 sometime next year ;) (llama's chapter)

~Moose


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